A Key to My Heart

Hey guys! It's been a while.
Well, I am 19 now so thats cool I guess. I feel so old lol.
Im doing pretty good but this post is going to focus on a request I got. A few people requested that I write about my hopes, dreams, fears, what my plans are as far as working/school, thoughts on love and life. So here goes nothing..

I have big dreams. They don't scare me so maybe they're not big enough? lol idk. Anyway, since I was really little my dream was to be a singer. Haha, yeah, that's not my dream now but I do write songs. Thats something that probably no one really knows about me and I just do it for fun. I love to write and so I am thinking about maybe writing a book, maybe. It will be fiction but based on a true story.
I  want to go to college but I still do not know what I want to do. I have ideas but idk. I'm absolutely fascinated with space and our universe and stuff like that. I also love kids and animals. I just don't know what I want to do as a career. But I need to do something with my life. After college I hope I've found the right guy by then because I want to walk down the isle in a white dress and have kids of my own. That is my biggest dream, to have a baby- a family of my own. Wherever I live, I want to have a barn and have horses. I've always wanted a horse. I love, love riding. And I want to live on a lake so I can go canoeing and boating whenever I want. Oh, and own a black 2010 Toyota Prius. Haha. Anyway, these dreams are ways away.
I am hopefully going to start college and get my own apartment soon. That will be super exciting!

My fears are escalators, not knowing, and bugs. Ew, bugs.

I over think everything. And by everything, I MEAN EVERYTHING! Over thinking will be the death of me! My mind literally keeps me awake at night. Sometimes I find myself going into deep thought about life. Sometimes I get so deep into thought about life, my brain just can't comprehend anything deeper, its kind of strange. I'm kind of strange I guess or we are not meant to understand everything. Like, God created us and this universe so how did God become God? What if 'I' was never born? Where would I be if my parents didn't have a child? Would I not exist? Or was I meant to be born anyway and if I wasn't born their child I would've been born someone else's '? Why was I born different? Why did 'I' get so lucky? I wouldn't trade my life God's given me for the world. I love my life exactly the way it is. Although, a cure would be pretty nice, I am happy the way I am. It makes you think. Its like the way our life is right now is the way God planned for it to be. He already knew who is going to be our mother, father, sister, brother, friend. Its weird to think about. He knows exactly what is going to happen next too. He wanted me to be born different for a reason. He has a purpose for me that I have yet to find out. He has a purpose for all of us. 

There are also sooooo many distractions in this life that are pulling us away from God and whats important. Electronics, material crap, money- just to name a few. It drives me nuts when people are on their phone literally all the time. If your going to spend time with someone get off the phone and enjoy that time because you won't be able to get that time back. We can't take any of that stuff with us when we die. Its worthless. What matters is what you did with your life. Who's life did you touch? Did you live your life to the fullest? Did you spread the word of God? Because God lives within us. 

Life is a game, and love is the prize. [If you haven't noticed, I love song lyrics.]

I believe in love and soul mates and crap. I believe that there is someone out there for everyone. I believe that everyone deserves somebody to make them look forward to tomorrow. I believe that everyone deserves to be happy. I believe in a happy ending. I believe that everything happens in God's perfect timing, so be patient.First of all, I do not believe in love at first sight. I mean who does?? It's crap. Yeah, you could probably fall in love with their looks but you don't know them and your not falling in love with them as a person. Looks ARE NOT everything. It's when you start to get to know someone when you actually start falling for them. You fall in love with who they are as a person, their personality. They could be so dang cute but be a jerk and have a horrible personality when you get to know them. They could also be so dang cute and be the sweetest person you've ever met and have a great personality. You have to get to know someone before you can fall in love with them. At least thats what I think, not that it really matters. I'm not good at telling guys how I feel, let alone anyone really. I am really shy until I get to know you well and start to feel comfortable around you. And most view me as 'un-date-able.' Just because I have a skin condition does not mean I can't have a physical relationship. I can.

Well, thats it. You should feel special because I just gave you A Key to My Heart, part 1.

Goodnight!

Love,
Sam